October 24

Fear taking root.
I finished listening to Destiny by TD Jakes.  And the last 45 minutes or so was like an instruction book.

I have been struggling with the loss of friends, family, left a job I hated, victim of domestic violence, lost my apartment and fiancé on top of that illness of a child.  In the dark moments I was asking that one question WHY.  I knew I would never allow anything to get in between my relationship with God however; I was in so much emotional, mental and spiritual pain that WHY was ringing in my ears.  In the online book Destiny, TD Jakes said in closing that God may never tell you why. And He said to get a strategy. Your strategy would lead you in the direction of your Destiny. You had too many things to do in your strategy to focus on the WHY. God is under no obligation to tell you WHY.

I have heard what he talked about in his book before however; I was getting stuck in the WHY. And I kept having different daydreams about each situation. What I would say to this person or that. What I should have done.  My mind was driving me crazy.  I was locked in an internal loop - again.  For some reason I got it today.  I heard God and I felt that moment where I was ready to walk away from the WHY and continue my journey in a more PEACEFUL manner.

Once that release came I started thinking about how many things I need to do NOW.  How many things God had already given me to do that were in my DESTINY/PURPOSE path.  I was like WOW - so much to do.  I really don't have time to think on the past unless it's about a LESSON.  I don't have time to mourn the people that have gone from my life. Even as I added up the things I need to do I was like if God allows me to live another day it looks like so much to do all the way into 2016.  The excitement started to come over me and I was so thankful to God. He really knows the timing of everything. The right time.

I needed to see and know things for myself. I always always get off track because of a relationship. Whether it is a romantic relationship, family relationship, issue with my grown children, work relationship or fitness relationship.  God showed me how I was getting in my own way; how I was just standing in the middle of my DESTINY/PURPOSE and not making any progress because I was too busy looking back, asking why or trying to relive the situation in my mind.

Now that He showed me in Technicolor what I was doing to my own life I feel different about going forward and changing. The stumbling blocks will not go away however; now I feel ready to climb over them and not stop and investigate them.

I am grateful.
I am feeling more peaceful.

You have a 'FEAR ' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love