The most disheartening thing I learned while going through one of my many transitions was life still sucked at times! I am not sure where I got the thought that once I changed - became better - lived better, my life would magically be better. I changed for myself however; in the back of my mind I daydreamed about my relationships with family, friends etc. being better once my change was complete.
WRONG!
If anything everything became worse. I was even more hurt and lost than before. My new insight to how I needed to walk differently in this world caused more problems from people who did not understand me and even those who condemned me to hell or thought I was being possessed by the devil. I had no explanation for my transition other than I believed the ONE who created me was speaking to me and directing my path.
I have lost exact dates after so many years however; I do know I was living in Baltimore Maryland when I first heard the ONE speak to me in my given name and tell me "that is enough". It scared me out of my wits and I looked around to see where that voice came from. I never discovered where however; I knew it was time for me to go a different direction. That had to be the early 90's. My life still sucked and I doubt if anyone could see anything about me that was different. I knew I was different and I knew I desired to change I just didn't know how to do a 360.
Now as I continue to change and understand change is a process; I no longer look for anything outside of myself to be better. I am better on the inside and because I am better on the inside I see and am aware of things in a different way. I am able to tap in to the ONE when I am confused or disheartened and the ONE restores my peace and centers me again.
It's a process. No quick easy fix. No promises of Nirvana nor health, wealth or love.
Sorry.
Have an 'up and down' story and want to share?
Chime in!
Peace & Love
#SpeakLyfe #SpiritualPSA #SpiritualSistasRock
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