October 31

I never fit in - ever; even to this day I don't fit in.
I understand it now that I was always closer to the Spiritual realm than the physical. When I was around 15 years old my family changed from being all the other faiths to Pentecostal.  My gifts started to manifest in that environment however; I didn't understand what it was and neither did anyone around me.

Even with all that has happened to me during my life it is still up to me to heed the call to CHANGE.  I can search on the outside forever however; the calling is coming from my spirit.  It recognizes things in the physical realm and the lessons they are bringing to my life and it is calling me to change.

Change is never at an opportune time for the one called to change; and that is where you faith comes it. You have to invest yourself in your relationship with the one who created you so you know which way to go when what you believe is negative appears in your life.

I've said before that I've lamented that change is only issued forth in my life out of PAIN.  I hate that for myself and  I hate it for others.  I don't understand why my change doesn't come through other ways and that is OK now.   I was recently challenged in my beliefs when one of my children had an issue in their lives.  It showed me and asked me what I really believed.  Did I believe God in all situations or just the ones that didn't include my children. At the end of the day I sided with God in all situations - even my children.  He loves them more than I even know how and I accept whatever is manifesting in their life is just like mines - because the ONE who created them said it was OK.

I'm not saying this way is easy; I am simply saying to me it is more than worth it!

On a side note you may be trying to figure out what my belief system is.  I have none.  I use the word God/Universe interchangeably because I continue to have experiences and am called to assist people of so many walks of life that sticking to a belief or name does not allow them to heal nor me to act in my gift.  Each time I have journeyed with a person they have found their own name for their experience and who acted on their behalf. And that is the best way because they walk away knowing that they are their source and not me.  I was just the midwife in the room.  I know that I was created and I answer and believe in the ONE who created me.  My gift is that I am open to everyone - what is more important than a person believing what I believe is that they find what THEY believe in and I am not in their way.  I believe if you are lead to this blog; to my Life Coach business then you are ready to change. And if that call to you is to birth your PURPOSE/DESTINY then I am the one in the maturity ward with you - and all that requires is what is given to me - the spiritual gifts of peace, forgiveness and unconditional love while you find your TRUTH.

You have a  'SEARCHING FOR YOURSELF' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love

#SpeakLyfe  #SpiritualPSA

October 30

Ever'body canin't go. Plain and simple.

This is a difficult one for me.

I still have not come to terms with it.

God has allowed people for one reason or another to not be in my life anymore. I have to admit my life is more peaceful than it has ever been. I have learned more about myself in these last 3 years of people exiting my life than I have in the 17 years prior.  I am grateful for the peace and how God has restored my life over the last year however; I am missing terribly the people who are gone.  God has shown me over and over again on different occasions that the people who are gone from my life need to be gone and they don't need to be back in my life the way they used to be.  It still hurts; and on some days missing them just brings tears to my eyes.

It's hard to see that God has more people out there who can more than fill the void the other left however; I question why not have forgiveness and unconditional love work in these relationships.  I know why in my head because relationships are a two way street - the other person(s) has to want to work through issues too but my heart is just sad at the truth.

The good thing is my Spiritual journey over the past 3 years has gotten me rooted in my lane; and the times when I start to veer into other peoples lanes then God is able to get me back in my lane. I am more sensitive to His will in my life. I can't see the BIG picture and a lot of it's pieces however; I know it is a picture there and I trust God to bring it into focus for me.  I know it's important for me to walk out the parts God has allowed me to see so I will be ready for the rest.

Peace is a beautiful thing.  Walking in my new life is a beautiful thing.
I trust that God knows the people who are supposed to be in my life and I trust His insight.

You have a  'EVER'BODY CAIN'T GO' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love

#SpeakLyfe  #SpiritualPSA

October 29

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to believe that the dark, heaviness you feel in your life right now will eventually go away.  It can become hard to continue with the Spiritual practices you did when things were not so dark.

This is the moment of growth.  Your TRUE SELF is the person you are when you are going through difficult situations.  LIFE is appearing to challenge you because it is time for you to change.  The situation you are currently in was brought about because your TRUE SELF wants to grow and sees it as an opportunity - not a negative.

I have realized during the past 3 years of my change/shift that it all comes down to do I really believe what I say I believe. As a Life Coach it would be easy to be side tracked by helping people and not dealing with my own issues.  People easily put you above them when you are in the HELP/HEALING field.  It has been my commitment to be transparent and to only help people who come to me for help knowing I have my own issues and flaws and just because I can help them through one thing does not mean I am problemless.

We all help each other heal.
It is challenging to see your own healing at times and that is when a Life Coach can help you. When you talk you are speaking your own answers. As a Life Coach I repeat back the answers you have spoken and I journey with you while you put those answers into play in your life.

You have a  'DARK DAY'S' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love

#SpeakLyfe  #SpiritualPSA

October 28

Nothing is ever on the outside.

It is always on the inside.

When it is your time to CHANGE then you have to go within to see what you need to change about yourself. It will always be tempting to look at the outside.  It's hard to change when everything on the outside is the same.  God knew it would be this way and still He asked you to change.  Hard does not mean QUIT neither does it mean operate in SELF-DECEPTION.  It is always a reason why outside forces are against you - or appear to be against you.  Your challenge is not to pay attention to them and focus on the parts of  you that come out when you are faced with what you perceive to be negative.  It's like a hidden treasure is in whatever is challenging you.

I found the closer the relationship that is challenging me is, the more tempted I am to focus on the outside.  It does not matter if you are RIGHT or WRONG in the OUTSIDE situation. The important thing is as a Spiritual Being you are called to address it in the Spiritual Realm and not the Physical realm.  Think about the story of Adam and Eve.  Who got in more trouble?  Adam. Why? Because God gave the direct order to Adam - he was responsible for Eve and everything in the garden.  That is the way it is with a Spiritual Being. God does not ask you to recount the flaws or what you perceive are negative points of another person or situation. What God wants to know if you are ready to change or not.  God is not going to beg you to change. And He does not have to explain anything to you.  You are required to walk by Faith or forget about changing.

You have an  'OUTSIDE IS AT FAULT' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love

#SpeakLyfe  #SpiritualPSA

October 27

Man, I remember like it was yesterday when God showed me how He saw me.  I must have cried for 8 months.  I was embarrassed and felt soooo bad.  I really thought I had the answer by protecting myself from ever being hurt again by 1.  Being Mean and 2. getting people and hurting them first. When God revealed to me how I really looked; I was devastated.

And then I got angry with God.
I felt like He left me without an option. After all, He could have stopped everything from happening to me that happened and He didn't!  I cursed Him and blamed Him and told Him I was already in hell so what did I have to lose.  After my brat attack I heard God calmly speak to me and just ask me to trust Him.

I did and I have not looked back.

I had no idea 20 years ago that all that pain would lead to this wonderful Spiritual journey I am on now.  It has not been easy however; each time I am able to see what I believed as negative as a lesson  I grow and my eyes lose more scales off them. I was introduced to IMAGO Therapy by my Therapist and  it helped me understand that I was drawing things to me to heal those hurt broken places.

I remember having a conversation with my friend at the time and asking why does growth have to come from pain.  I remember them saying  that it is the only way you can grow. I fought that for the longest time but then my life started crashing and burning 3 years ago and I had to either accept the pain or be taken under.  I am not saying it is not hard; however it is a process and it is necessary.

At the end of the day I am so grateful to God for adjusting my rose colored glasses and healing my black heart.  Life is so much better for me this way.  God loves me and He is my protection and my refuge.  If anything ever hurts me - I know God has said I will be alright first.  I will make it through. (SMILE)

You have a  'PAIN' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love

#SpeakLyfe  #SpiritualPSA

October 26

As you see from my picture I am an African American woman.
And I used to be a Bitter Black Woman.  A BBB!
I bit everyone's head off and I struck first before anyone could say anything to hurt me.
I was loud. angry, mean, manipulative and hurtful.  I did it on purpose; deliberately and I was not sorry.  I could sniff out a weakness in a person and I'd just ride that weakness.  I pretended to care so that person would let their guard down and then WHAM! I'd let them have it.

As I started to transform I noticed the same type of women were always around me for some reason or other.  I was trying to run away from them and they always were there.  I'd never help a woman like me.  I felt like you'd help them and they'd turn on you. The same way I was.  Can you say KARMA!

I remember one time I was going in the bank on my way out of town.  I had my car loaded with furniture and this African American woman stormed out the bank and headed right for me.  I looked for an escape route; and started back towards my car. She started calling me, "Sister, Sister can I talk to you".  I stopped walking to my car and we actually wound up talking for 2 hours. She was going through a hard time and she just needed someone to talk to.  Over time I stopped running from women who were just like me.  I realized who better to deal with women like me than someone who used to be like that.  I am always straight, no chaser so if you ask me for help; you'd better be ready to do the work! I actually met my best friend that way. I was working in a running store and this couple came in. I didn't know if they were a couple or he was her trainer.  I found out later he was her husband trying to help her get workout gear.  She was mad as a hornet.  She is actually 4" shorter than me but that day she look big and mean and I spent  several minutes running from her in the store.  Eventually, I could run no more and started talking to her and helping her.  We wound up exchanging numbers - I don't know why; God moves in mysterious ways - and we have been best  friends ever since. We co-created a spiritual group called The Triangle.  I am Auntie to her 3 kids.

Each of the women were ready to change. That is why God/Universe allowed us to come in contact with each other.  I just had to get past the outside and the attitude to see the real hurt and pain of these wonderful women.  And that is part of my gift. Hurt people hurt people.  As a Life Coach it's my job to LISTEN and hear behind the attitude, the hurt, pain disappointment and anything else the person is trying to hide.  At the end of the day they really want to be healed; they just need the space, love and understanding to start.

You have a  'FIGHT THE HELP ' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love

#SpeakLyfe  #SpiritualPSA

October 25

Another funny one.
I still can't believe I wrote all these 10 years ago.
It is a testament to  God.  Time is nothing to Him.

I started transitioning back around 1994/1995.
I was in my room in Baltimore, MD standing there and I heard God call my name - not the name I use now; the name I was born with.  He said that was ENOUGH!  I was shaking.  It was no way to deny the voice; believe you me I wish it was just the pizza.  I know it was midday.  I was not sleeping and I don't do drugs and I had not been drinking.

After that experience I visualize myself standing in my own footprints and I turn and starting going the other direction.  I didn't know anything about what I needed to do; I just knew to not go that way anymore.

So here is where the quote comes in.  You NEVER had to ask me was I in my lane.  I was only changing for myself.  I had heard God and I was 100% focused on myself.  Add to that I grew up spoiled and I just didn't have any room for being in anyone else's lane for any reason.  I could not see anyone but myself and I didn't want to.

God has to have a sense of humor because in the course of my transition I became someone who helps people.  Who knew!  My friends laugh at me all the time when I journey with them. They say you have to write down what I tell them because once the conversation is over I don't know what I said.  I don't know how I helped the person.  In the early years I was afraid of my gift. I questioned God if He made the right choice in choosing me.  I was honest with Him and asked Him didn't He know that I would be on the Infomercial selling my gift for a mere $99.95.  Didn't He know I would betray Him.  His answer to me was that is why He chose me.  Who else would admit that to God?  Who else would confess their heart. So with that I continue with my gift as a Life Coach/Change Agent/Speaker of Life - whatever name you want to call me.

I have met so many people and had so many unique experiences that I have stopped questioning God when He brings someone in my life.  I simply speak the message He gives me for that person and move along. I have learned the hard way that messengers come in beautiful packages so now I ask the person are you a messenger prior to getting involved with them.  LOL. I steer people away from me because now I know they are drawn by the light of God in me; not to me. If people really knew my heart they would run away.  I am wonderfully flawed.  I wear my flaws 1st lest someone think that I am something I am not. I have failed on so many levels; I am in need of forgiveness all the time.  I am the hard head soft behind transition person. So don't be fooled. If you are drawn by my blog it is for a reason.  I'd tell you to run - however; when your gift is ready to manifest it makes sense you are reading.  You are in the maternity ward about to deliver and God (or whatever name you call who created you) has lead you here.

In closing I have read about boundaries now (Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend) and I understand staying in my lane.  I understand that whatever a person is going through is their moment to transition and I would only impede/delay their growth if I get in their lane to do what I believe is helping.  I am still learning however; understanding boundaries helps me walk in my gift and heal myself as I share my gift.

You have an 'OUT YOUR LANE ' story and want to share?  

Please chime in.

Peace & Love

#SpeakLyfe  #SpiritualPSA